Now that you have your guest list considered (if not finalized!), you can start looking at venues. But again, the size and capacity of your chosen venue should align with the number of guests you plan to invite. Booking a venue without considering your guest list can lead to a variety of challenges such as overcrowding, limited seating, or even having to change venues altogether.

If you're choosing a venue with multiple spaces on site, and they have different capacities, do not assume that you're able to switch to one place from another closer to your date. Don't listen to the old advice that “only 75% of your invited guests will RSVP yes”. The truth is, each wedding is different, and there are a variety of factors like whether or not you're having a destination wedding or you have a smaller guest count to begin with (smaller guest lists tend to have a higher percentage of yeses). 

NEVER invite over your wedding venue's maximum capacity, and in my opinion, you should not aim to go anywhere near it.

Each venue is different, but often a wedding venue's maximum capacity won't leave you much room for a dance floor or a stage for a band. You know, all those pretty table layouts you see with a mixture of rectangles and rounds, and there's all this space between the tables? I guarantee those events did not max out the venue's capacity.

Basically – if you want to avoid your wedding looking like a sea of rounds in a banquet hall that serves rubber chicken, make sure your guest count is below your wedding venue's maximum capacity. One of the things I recommend is asking to see a sample floor plan based the wedding venue's maximum capactiy. Make sure that there is space for the lively band you want to book, and you don't feel like you're going to be restricted to all rounds of just 10 people (if that's important to you!). 

Want more? In episode 84, I break down five questions you need to ask on your venue tour!

Do You Have Our Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist Yet?

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Creating a Guest List After You Get Engaged

While it may feel a little anti-climatic to sit down and create a guest list (and refine it again and refine it again), especially when you're so excited to jump in and start planning, trust me when I say that it's so important. Not only will it make venue selection a lot easier because you won't be touring and requesting pricing from venues that don't work, but it will also help you start allocating your budget more effectively. Stay tuned for more episodes on budget coming soon (and grab our free wedding budget checklist in the meantime!)

Navigating Difficult Conversations With Guests

Lastly, now that we've drilled down the importance of decoding your wedding venue's maximum capacity let's talk about how to navigate conversations that are going to come up that may be a little bit difficult (whether your guest list of 50 or 500 people). 

Talking to your parents

First, let's talk about how to tell your parents you are not inviting a family friend that your parents want you to invite; it's important to approach the conversation with empathy and honesty. Start by explaining the limitations of your venue or budget or simply express that you have made the decision to keep the guest list intimate. Be clear, but avoid any approach that might make them feel defensive. It also doesn't hurt to reassure your parents that their support and understanding mean the world to you and remind them that your goal is to create a memorable experience shared with those closest to you. And just as a reminder, if they are helping pay for the wedding, it is worth having this conversation before accepting the money so that you know whether or not there are any expectations attached.

Addressing plus one questions

Next, let's talk about the plus ones. Addressing the plus-one request can be tricky, especially if you're trying to keep the guest list small. Some people will ask – regardless of how clear you make it on the invitation. Start by explaining that you're trying to maintain an intimate atmosphere and that you have carefully considered each invitation. I mean, tell them you've agonized over every single person individually, and I'm sure if they planned a wedding before, they know how difficult it is. If you have the flexibility, you can offer to accommodate their request for a plus one if other guests decline their invitations. This shows that you value your relationship with them and you're open to meeting their needs while also being honest about your limitations.

When people ask if they are invited

Last, let's talk about the dreaded “Am I invited?”. While hopefully, nobody will be so bold as to ask outright if they're invited, it's important to respond tactfully. Avoid giving vague answers. Instead, kindly explain that you're in the process of finalizing the guest list, which you are, and you'll be sending out formal invitations soon. This allows you to buy some time to make a final decision without making anyone feel excluded or uncomfortable.

Remember, it's perfectly normal for guests to be curious and excited about your big day, so we recommend responding with warmth and enthusiasm no matter what tough guest conversations or venue capacity limit comes your way. Most people aren't going to try to over a step. They're simply excited, and that is a beautiful thing. Open and honest communication will go a long way in ensuring that these conversations remain friendly and understanding. I dive deeper into this in episode 40, so check that out for more information! Thank you for reading until the end! Make sure to check out the shop for all of our wedding planner approved templates!