As a Finger Lakes wedding planner who’s been planning events for almost 15 years, I’m used to planning for the worst or the unexpected. But I never thought I would be so used to using the term “socially distant” or “social-distancing” so much in my career. I’ve also never been so vigilant about checking the news or local health guidelines and legal websites as I am today. If you are reading this, don't despair. There are still many ways to have a beautiful yet socially distant wedding.

Photography Credit: Jenny Berliner Photography

Planning your wedding in 2021

If you’re a couple getting married in New York, I know what you’re going through. You’re debating on whether you should still have your wedding or if you should postpone (again). You're considerate, wondering how to make guests feel comfortable while still having a good time. I can’t predict the future, so I would hate for you to postpone to a future date (2, 3, 6 times) and be disappointed that the situation hasn’t improved to the benchmark you’ve set. As a wedding planner, my heart has been broken for many couples this year who have gone through the same thing.

If you’re a wedding vendor in New York right now (and many other states), I know what you’re feeling, too! You’re trying to figure out ways to support your couples and clients during this challenging time to have social gatherings, but also ways to keep the doors open so you can continue to support them! It seems like the rules keep changing. We don’t know how they’re going to be enforced. After the rollercoaster of 2020, all we want to do is support our couples during what should be an exciting time in their relationship.

Photography Credit: Jenny Berliner Photography

In today’s blog post, I’m going to give you ideas and ways to have a safe, socially-distanced wedding.

Being a Finger Lakes wedding planner (and also the podcast host on “Ask the Planner“), I'm extremely sensitive to the confusion surrounding 2021 weddings. Many couples (and their vendors!) want to get married right now, but they don’t know what’s allowed. Or they do, but they don’t love the restrictions. They’re asking questions like:

• How are you dealing with New York state’s restrictions on social-distancing?
• How do you plan a socially distant wedding?
• What are safe ways for guests to attend social gatherings?
• How do we have a socially distanced wedding?
• What is the best way to serve food safely at a socially distanced wedding?
• How can we dance while still having social distancing?

I’m right there with you and I’ve been thinking about this for a while. So I put together this post that you can take back to your team so you can still have a successful and safe wedding this year. 

1) Provide Welcome Bags or Boxes in Lieu of Wedding Favors Before the Wedding

To welcome guests and communicate expectations, couples can provide guests with a welcome bag or box before the wedding. Popular items to include are: hand sanitizer, masks, and a locally sourced (individually wrapped) treat like cookies or chocolate. This prevents cross-contamination of favors and crowding at a specific table. 

Looking for wedding stationery? We love Minted!

2) Serve Appetizer Sampler Baskets to Groups of Guests

As many states require groups to have a “home base” instead of the usual mixing and mingling at cocktail hour, I’ve increased the number of high and low cocktail tables for my couples at cocktail hour. Then, you can have a server bring a variety of hors d’oeuvres to each group rather than the same server going to different groupings with the same (potentially contaminated) hors d’oeuvres. 

One of the photos below is from Ridgewells Catering in D.C. and I think it’s a beautiful presentation of the food. They were one of the first caterers I ever worked with and I’m always impressed by their creativity and attention to detail. After 15 years in the industry, I'm still constantly amazed at the incredible work caterers do!

Photography provided by: Constellation Culinary Group (left), Ridgewells Catering (top), Marcia Seldon Catering (middle bottom), Anomaly Photography (bottom right)

3) Find Creative Ways to Limit Trips to the Bar

In addition, you can also have staff take drink orders from guests during cocktail hour to prevent long lines that would hinder social distancing at the bar. 

This will elevate the guest experience while also being safe. If you’re not able to increase the number of staff, having pre-made signature cocktails (which EVERYONE LOVES) and mocktails would also help! 

If you want to be extra, you can also consider using rolling bar carts for a mobile and interactive option that can go where the demand is high!

Photography credit to Christine Donee (left) and House Beautiful (right)

4) Add Soft Seating to the Ceremony and Cocktail Hour

Who doesn’t love fun lounge vignettes? With smaller gatherings, couples can opt to incorporate lounge seating and soft banquettes at their ceremony and reception. This naturally groups parties and households together, gives them a “home base” and makes for beautiful photos. 

Lounge spaces also provide guests another option for visiting with one another if they’re not into dancing or dancing is limited.

Have you checked out my 2021 wedding trend predictions? Lounge seating was one of them! Read the whole report here.

5) Designate Space for Safe, Socially Distanced Dancing

At the time of this post, New York is requiring venues have 6’x6’ “dance zones” for each party (basically table) and no mixing or intermingling between the dance zones. It's also requiring six feet of space BETWEEN each dance zone. 

Taking this into consideration, I updated a floorplan this weekend with 12'x12’ squares for each table so that we can know if we have room for each zone. To denote the zones, couples could use removable stickers customized with their wedding monogram placed in the middle of their zone to indicate where groups should be standing. 

6) Expand the Dance Floor Outside

In this same floorplan, I also moved the dance area next to the venue’s beautiful accordion doors that open outside. This in turn expands the dance floor to the outside and would allow guests to dance outside in the fresh air while still being near the music.

7) Provide Attractive Face Masks & Sanitizing Stations

I’ve scoured the internet for attractive face masks and put a list together for you here (for easy shopping!). 

Providing face masks for guests is a gentle reminder to wear their face mask and also provides them a back-up option in case they forgot theirs at the table or they dropped it and can’t find it. It also gives a nice, cohesive look to the wedding (and what wedding designer can’t appreciate that!?).

Love this Sanitizing Station Sign as much as I do? Pick it up here! 

8) Box Individual Wedding Desserts in Place of a Dessert Display

At least for 2021, the traditional buffet or food display as we know it will be less popular as couples opt for individually portioned grab-and-go options. 

If this isn’t an option, opt to have a staff person stand by the dessert display that will serve guests rather than allow guests to serve themselves.

Photography provided by Lovebug Photography

9) Use Tech Apps like Social Tables for Guest Check-in and Contact Tracing

If you’ve been following me a while, you know that I use Social Tables primarily for my floorplans and seating. I’ve known the owner of Social Tables ever since he got started several years ago in D.C. (Fun fact: I used to appear in their marketing videos long ago.) When we planned 1,000 person galas, I used Social Tables. 

The beauty of Social Tables is you can import your guest list with all the necessary information for guests for contact tracing purposes (their phone, email, address, etc.). My couples can still use it for assigning guests to their seats at dinner. 

But as the venue owner or caterer or wedding planner, you can also use it for guest check-in. You can conduct check-in on iPads, phones (with the Social Tables app), and laptops. 

Yes, you can use a normal spreadsheet like in Google Docs, but Social Tables’ app is super simple to use for check-in. All you have to do is find their name, tap a box and move on to the next guest. I've used it to check in thousands of people quickly for a gala show featuring Flo' Rida himself!

Even though I love technology, I do recommend having 1 or 2 back-up spreadsheets printed out in paper form (which you can export from Social tables) just in case the wi-fi fails. You can see how as a planner, I always prepare for the worst!

Looking to livestream your wedding? Check out this post on top Zoom wedding alternatives.

Did you scroll to the bottom?

Weddings and social events will continue to look and behave differently for the foreseeable future. Now is the time to plan for these changes so that you can feel confident and excited to keep your wedding plans. This post was about 9 ways to have a beautiful yet socially distant wedding so if you scrolled to the bottom, make your way back to the top.

If you’re planning a wedding in 2021, I would be happy to help. You can set up a clarity call with me to figure out what will work in your specific situation. Nothing would make me happier than to help you plan a wedding you love and can be excited about again. Or, if you are planning your wedding in the New York area and are looking for a wedding planner, make sure to contact me here.

If you’re a wedding venue or other wedding professional, I love supporting you. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help you and I would love to work with you and your couples!

Considering a socially distant wedding? Make sure to save this for later!

(Disclosure: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links. That means I may receive a small commission if you purchase through this link. However, I promise to only share tools and products I truly love and use for myself or my clients. Thanks for contributing to my macaron fund!)

Want to stay in the loop about New York wedding planning (or get weekly reminders about new episodes on our podcast Ask The Planner)? Make sure to get on our email list!