Wedding Planning

Nontraditional Weddings: How to Plan Second Weddings, Delayed Weddings, and Weddings for Mature Couples

May 27, 2024

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Welcome back, loverves! Today we are diving into wedding planning tips for mature, second weddings, delayed weddings, postponed weddings, all of the things. Whether you are planning a second trip down the aisle, celebrating your love later in life, or finally having the wedding you postponed. This episode is for you. We are recording it at the request of another one of our loverves, and so we are sharing practical advice and insights to help you navigate these unique yet really incredibly special wedding journeys (whether it's second weddings, delayed weddings, or something else!). So let's get to it!








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And if you prefer to read, here's the summary of the podcast episode!


Addressing Unfair Stigma

Before we dive into all the practical tips, I want to address what we here at the podcast think is kind of an unfair stigma when it comes to this type of wedding. Which is that you can't be as excited to plan your wedding if you're closer to middle age, which honestly, what does that even mean being middle aged these days? If you are planning a second wedding or a delayed wedding, it seems like a lot of people feel like you can't be as excited or you feel weird for being super excited about your wedding and this could not be further from the truth.

So let me be the one to the record straight. Every love story is unique. Every wedding is worth celebrating whether you're planning your first wedding later in life, renewing your vows, getting married for a second or a third time, or finally getting to plan that dream wedding of yours that you have been delaying or postponing for whatever reason. Your excitement and joy are just as valid and deserving of a celebration! Love is a beautiful thing. Finding a person is so special and the decision to celebrate it should be met with enthusiasm and support no matter your circumstances.

Take for example, the many couples who got pregnant during Covid and are just now planning their weddings after they had their babies. They are faced with obviously unique challenges and delays, but that doesn't diminish the joy and excitement they feel about their big day. In fact, their journey is a testament to their resilience and love and making their wedding even more meaningful.

One of our earlier weddings way back when the company was started, they were both in their forties and had both been married previously. They were together for 10 years, but they were finally deciding to get married and had the most amazing and crazy party! It wasn't just a wedding, it was a wedding festival complete with a concert stage with lighting and the whole shebang. They had a Rolling Stones cover band from Texas and a Fleetwood Mac cover band from Philadelphia. We had a production trailer, giant lights in the fields for parking. It was basically a music festival with a wedding ceremony thrown in. They had this beautiful sunset ceremony on their dock and decided to jump into the lake after their ceremony. It was so hot that a bunch of their guests jumped in after them, but why not? It's a wedding festival, right?

So, just because you're having your wedding later in life, doesn't mean you can't have a party and you can't celebrate your wedding. I think it's time that we change the narrative on these “second chance weddings”. If you're finally going to have a wedding that you've been wanting and you've waited a while, know that your excitement is valid. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Celebrate your love story with all the joy and enthusiasm it deserves. After all, every wedding is a beautiful celebration of love and that is something that we should all always be excited about!



Set Your Priorities

One thing we always emphasize is the importance of setting your priorities first and foremost, and that is also still true with this type of wetting. No matter what kind of wedding you are planning, your priorities will shape every decision you make and how you allocate your budget. For many of us, one of the top priorities is creating an unforgettable experience, and when I say experience, I mean two things, your guest's experience and your ability to remain present on your wedding day.

First, let's talk about the guest experience, whether you're having a small intimate gathering or a larger celebration with your 200 closest friends at a wedding festival, making sure your guests feel welcomed and appreciated is key. This could mean investing in great food and drinks, providing comfortable accommodations or even planning thoughtful entertainment. When your guests are having a great time, it adds to the overall joy and excitement and atmosphere of your wedding day.

So now let's talk about you. Your ability to remain present on your wedding day is just as important, if not more. Weddings can be overwhelming and it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everything, but by prioritizing your own experience, you can ensure that you are able to soak in every moment, enjoy your time with loved ones and truly celebrate your union. This might mean hiring a wedding planner or a wedding coordinator to handle logistics. Choosing a venue that requires minimal decorating or scheduling moments throughout the day just to take some time and take it all in and breathe and be with each other. Because the day, like I said, goes by so fast.


Planning a More Low-Key Wedding

Let's talk about planning a smaller or more low key wedding. Not because I think it has to be that way for a second wedding or a delayed wedding, but just because I know that's what people often do. First off, you may still need all of the same vendors, even if you're having a more “low key wedding”. Just because your wedding is smaller or more casual, it doesn't mean you won't need professionals to help bring your vision to life. You'll still likely need a photographer, caterer, florist, maybe even a DJ or a band, an officiant of some sort, a sound system, because even if you have 50 people, people can't hear and you want people to hear your vows. So, I want you to remember casual is not always cheaper.

Sometimes scaling down the guest list or opting for a more relaxed vibe doesn't significantly cut costs, especially when you want to maintain quality. A good example of this is having a backyard wedding. So, my friend's brother and his girlfriend just eloped to Italy not even two weeks ago, but now she wants to plan a mini wedding for their friends and family here, now that their back. He wants to have it in their backyard, and I told my friend, you cannot let them do that. If they want something that's truly low key, you cannot let them have it in their backyard. You have to bring in a tent, maybe a restroom trailer, someone to cater it, someone who's going to provide some kind of decor, you'll need something for power and oh my gosh, the list goes on.

So while you can definitely have an incredibly intimate, personal and casual backyard wedding, backyard weddings are often more complicated than a traditional wedding. You are essentially transforming a non-traditional space that's not meant to host an event, into a fully functioning wedding venue. This means arranging for rentals, like I said, tents, tables, chairs. Don't forget about weather, guys! Not to mention you'll need to think about parking, lighting, sound equipment.

With all of these details, I think it's safe to say that hiring a wedding planner would become even more important because a planner can help you navigate these complexities and ensure that everything runs smoothly because if there's bad weather or something happens, you don't want to be the one that's dealing with it. And don't forget, you are also still going to need a timeline, some form of entertainment and all the other elements that make a wedding memorable.

Just because your wedding is smaller, doesn't mean you get to skip the structure. Having a timeline helps keep the day on track and ensures that you get to enjoy every moment without feeling rushed or stressed. Entertainment, like I said, is also key, whether it's live music, a DJ, or even a playlist that sets the mood, it's basically the soundtrack to your day. Your guests will definitely appreciate the effort you put into making the day enjoyable for them because I'm sure they're probably going to be super excited for you too because they've also been waiting for this to happen for you guys.



Considering Special Touches

Lastly, if you do have a smaller guest list, don't be afraid to get creative with special touches that can make your wedding unforgettable. You all know that's what we love to do at Verve. We just love all those small and special touches. This is especially true for second chance weddings because your guests may have attended many weddings over the years, so it's a great opportunity to surprise them with something different, memorable and fun. Because, you guys deserve that too.


Here are few ideas because the list goes on and on:
  • Perfume Bar: There's lots of different companies that will set up custom perfume bars and the guests can actually pick out their own scents and put them together at the wedding.
  • Alcohol Tasting: You can also hire people to do some kind of whiskey or wine tasting as part of the festivities so your guests can do that on the side during cocktail hour.
  • Live Painter: Hire a live painter to capture the essence of your wedding day on canvas or a caricature artist to create fun personalized drawings for your guests. They can also do fashion drawings of your guests in their outfits. These are a really fun keepsake for your guests. This is harder to do with a larger guest list because the artist has limited time, but a smaller guest list is a lot easier for them to get to everyone.
  • Hire a Musician: You could hire a fun musician like an electric violin, or harp and string players are super fun. There's a really fun cello duet that plays just on cello, but they always play contemporary music, but in a classical style, which is always super fun.
  • Haiku/Poem Writers: Your guests give them a couple different words or themes, and then they actually will write a poem or a haiku for the guest.


There are so many ways of having fun and entertaining ideas for your guests, especially for a smaller wedding. The beauty of having a smaller guest list is that these special touches won't be as expensive or time consuming as they might be with a larger crowd. So you can definitely have fun with these. You can allocate your budget to enhance the guest experience and unique and memorable ways, which we always love. If you want more ideas on that, let me know and I can definitely think of some more fun ideas for you guys.

So especially for a second chance wedding. Don't be afraid to get creative and think outside the box if you want to. Your smaller, more intimate wedding can still be filled with special moments and personalized touches that reflect your love story, surprise and delight your guests in meaningful ways, which we always love. Make sure to tune into episode 136 where we dive in deeper to planning a micro wedding and the costs associated with those special touches, and also finding a venue for a micro wedding if you are planning a smaller, more intimate occasion. 



Okay, that's it for today! But, I want to leave you with this reminder. Every wedding, regardless of the circumstances, deserves the attention and celebration that reflects the love and commitment It represents whether you're planning a second chance wedding, a mature wedding, a second wedding, or a delayed wedding. There are still a million moving pieces that require careful planning and consideration. Oftentimes, it's the couples that are planning a smaller, more casual or intimate wedding that wonder how there are still so many decisions to make. You're still making the same decisions. It's just on a smaller scale. You're still going to be having a lot of decisions to make, and I feel like it's my non-traditional couples that are more surprised by it thinking it was going to be simpler and easier, but it's not.

Just remember your love story is unique and your wedding day should be a true aff reflection of that. Do not let anyone diminish the excitement and joy you both feel. You deserve to celebrate your love as big and as boldly as you want to. Whether it's an intimate gathering or a giant wedding festival, what matters most is that your wedding day feels authentic to you and your partner. Remember, setting your priorities, planning the details, and adding those special touches can make all the difference in creating a memorable and joyous occasion that you're going to remember forever. Embrace the planning process, enjoy the journey, and most importantly, savor every moment of your special day!





If you have any questions, DM me on Instagram at @asktheplannerpodcast, call the wedding planning hotline at 585-210-9485, or drop it in your review on Apple Podcasts.

Plus, don’t forget to check out the Wedding Planning template shop, including my new Wedding Day Master Organizer which includes the same spreadsheets we use in our day-of production books.

And for all my planners out there, check out my new wedding planner coaching service! Whether you’re in the first 1-2 years of your business and you don’t know how to increase your prices, build a team, attract your ideal clients, find your brand’s voice, or you’re a little further in your career and you want to take it to the next level with a digital product, start a podcast, or something else, I would love to help you build the dream wedding business you deserve!

Learn more and schedule a call with me to see if this is what your business needs at