Well, in general, you should be discussing all aspects of life planning—because those decisions ultimately impact your finances. Do you plan to follow the FIRE method and retire early? Do you want to travel the world? Do you envision having kids and a house with a white picket fence? And if you do have children, will both of you continue working full-time?
Of course, you can’t predict everything—you don’t have a crystal ball. But having these conversations can help shape the terms you include in your prenup.
When it comes to what finances to include, this is something I find really interesting because there’s often resistance to fully disclosing financial details. But the reality is, you need to lay everything on the table. Full financial disclosure is a requirement in most states, and if you fail to disclose all assets, income, and debts, your prenup could be at risk of being invalidated.
A prenup includes a financial disclosure document, which should cover everything—assets, debts, potential future inheritances (if you want to protect them), business ownership or interest in businesses, stock, even unvested stock. Getting detailed is crucial because transparency is key to ensuring your prenup is legally sound.
If future plans change (like someone stays home with their children), does that affect a prenup?
That’s a great question. A well-drafted prenup plans in concepts, not rigid details. Some things—like defining separate property versus marital or community property—are clearly delineated.
But when it comes to topics like having kids and how finances will work around that, a good prenup takes different possible scenarios into account. Because again, you don’t have a crystal ball. Some couples may not even know if they want kids for five or ten years. And sometimes, it’s not until you actually have children that you realize whether you want to stay home or continue working. Goals can change over time.
That being said, there are ways to amend a prenup. In some states, you can amend it directly. In others, amending a prenup essentially turns it into a postnup. However, postnups can be less enforceable in certain states, so it’s not always as simple as just updating your agreement.
If you’re in a situation where your initial agreement no longer fits your circumstances, it’s really important to seek legal counsel in your state. They can help you understand whether amending your prenup or drafting a postnup is the best course of action.
You mention knowing state laws, if someone moves does that invalidate the prenup?
In the U.S., we have a legal concept where each state honors contracts from other states. So in your prenup, you include a choice of law provision, which specifies which state's laws will govern the prenup's enforcement.
There are differences between substantive and procedural enforcement, which can get a bit complex, but the short answer is no, moving to another state does not invalidate your prenup.
One common challenge people face today is deciding which state to choose in their prenup. For example, if you live a digital nomad lifestyle and frequently move between two or three states, it can be tricky to determine which jurisdiction makes the most sense. These are really common scenarios nowadays, and they add an interesting layer to prenup planning.
What tips do you have for bringing up the prenup conversation?
I think once couples have had the conversation and reached an understanding, the experience is overwhelmingly positive. I always remind people—prenups aren’t scary. Divorce is. Talking about finances isn’t the hard part; not knowing what debts or assets your future spouse has—that’s what’s really scary.
Having these tough conversations early sets your marriage up for success by building a strong foundation. A prenup isn’t about expecting failure—it’s an opportunity for two people to get on the same page so they can move forward together with clarity and confidence. At the end of the day, the goal is to stay married and build a life together.
Having this conversation can be tough, but it’s important to be honest about why you want a prenup. Are your parents divorced? Are you getting married later in life and want to protect the assets you’ve worked hard to build? Is there family pressure involved? With the ongoing great wealth transfer, many families are encouraging prenups, which can add another layer to the discussion.
Vulnerability is key. Where you have this conversation matters just as much as how you approach it. Some couples choose to discuss it in a therapist’s office to help ease discomfort and ensure open communication.
On the other hand, how not to bring it up? Over a few drinks on a random night when it's completely unexpected. The how and where of the conversation are just as important as the conversation itself.
What is your advice if one person doesn't want a prenup?
I think the key is to understand why someone is resistant to a prenup. What’s driving that hesitation? Nine times out of ten, it’s fear—fear of the unknown, fear of how the prenup affects them, or the perception that it creates a wall between them and their partner. But that’s not the case.
As we’ve discussed, a well-drafted prenup protects both parties, and most people don’t realize that until they actually go through the process. That’s why it’s important to give your partner time to digest the idea and think it through.
Coming from a place of understanding and open communication is crucial. Be willing to talk through your reasoning and listen to their concerns. At the end of the day, these conversations aren’t just about the prenup—they're essential skills for a strong, healthy marriage. If you can navigate this now, it sets the foundation for better communication in the future.
What do you see as a prenup lawyer in terms of family expectations or cultural expectations?
In some cultures, discussing a prenup might be seen as pessimistic or a sign of distrust, while in others—particularly in legal systems where prenups are more common—it’s simply viewed as a practical tool.
Inheritance and family wealth also play a role. Families with significant generational wealth or businesses may encourage—or even require—prenups to ensure assets remain within the family.
Ultimately, a person's views on prenups are often shaped by how they grew up and their overall comfort level with the idea. That’s why in cross-cultural relationships, it’s especially important to discuss the ‘why' behind a prenup. Clear communication ensures that cultural differences don’t lead to misunderstandings and that both partners are aligned on their financial future.
Do you have any examples of when a couple initially thought that they were or were not going to get a prenup and then change their mind?
When I was working as an attorney, I handled a prenup case that really stuck with me. The firm was representing a groom whose family was very wealthy, and about a month before the wedding, his parents suddenly decided they wanted him and his fiancée to sign a prenup.
She was completely blindsided. She knew there was some generational wealth involved, but she had no idea of the extent. On top of that, his parents were incredibly forceful—they told him, ‘If this prenup isn’t signed, we’re not paying for the wedding. The wedding is off. We’re disinheriting you.' It was dramatic and put an enormous amount of pressure on both of them.
At that point, I honestly didn’t know if the couple was even going to go through with the wedding. And that was a turning point for me—it was the moment I realized, this is exactly why Hello Prenup needs to exist.
The future bride saw the prenup as something being forced on her by his parents, and she didn’t understand how it could actually benefit her as well. Because of that, she resisted the entire process and wanted no part in the negotiations.
This experience made me see just how crucial collaboration is in prenup discussions. A collaborative approach—where both partners are fully informed and involved—can make all the difference. And that’s a big part of why I started Hello Prenup.
Communication is key. In the end, they did get married, but unfortunately, the breakdown in communication caused lasting damage to the relationship between the bride and her in-laws.
It got to the point where the in-laws would call me, saying, ‘She’s still not talking to us.' The tension never fully resolved, and it deeply affected their family dynamic.
It’s a sad situation, but one that serves as an important reminder—clear, open communication matters. The way these conversations are handled can have a long-term impact, and when communication breaks down, the consequences can be devastating.
Are prenups becoming more popular now?
Definitely. And I know prenups are becoming more popular. In fact, 47% of millennials report having a prenup, which is wild to me because 15 years ago, that number was around 5%—maybe even less. That’s a drastic shift.
I think there are a few key reasons behind this trend. Couples are getting married later in life, meaning they’ve already accumulated assets and financial responsibilities. Additionally, 24% of millennials have divorced parents, so they’ve seen firsthand the emotional and financial toll that divorce can take.
On top of that, many millennials carry significant debt, especially student loan debt, which makes financial planning even more important. As a result, more couples are recognizing the value of having open, transparent conversations about money before marriage.
For those who grew up in divorced households, they understand how devastating a divorce can be, and they want to take steps to protect themselves and their relationships from unnecessary conflict down the road.
What have you seen are the biggest legal or financial mistakes couples make when they skip getting a prenup?
One of the biggest reasons to get a prenup is if you own a business. Without a prenup, you have no guarantee how your ownership in that business will be affected in a divorce.
I’ve seen plenty of cases where a business owner had to pay out 50% of their business equity to their spouse in a divorce—sometimes totaling millions of dollars more than they actually had in liquid assets.
In that same vein, there's a concept called double dipping when dividing a business in divorce. Essentially, your business equity is divided as an asset, but then you also have to pay alimony or spousal support based on the income from that same business. That can create a huge financial burden for business owners.
So if you’re a business owner, you absolutely should get a prenup.
Another major reason, which I’ve mentioned before, is that women are often at a disadvantage without a prenup—especially in the event of divorce. The motherhood penalty is very real.
If you have kids, the caregiving responsibilities typically fall on you. If a child gets sick and one parent needs to step away from work, it's usually the mother—partly because women, on average, earn less than men, so it makes financial sense in the short term. But over time, that creates a self-fulfilling cycle that impacts long-term financial stability.
Meanwhile, men don’t face the same penalties as parents. In fact, fathers who work full-time often receive a ‘wage bonus' after having kids, which is a stark contrast.
This is why it’s critical for women to protect themselves financially. Getting a prenup isn’t just about safeguarding your assets—it’s about securing your financial future and protecting your family’s well-being.
Leaving things up to state law puts you at significant risk, and a prenup ensures you’re proactively taking control of your financial future.
How is HelloPrenup different from traditional prenups?
Absolutely. With a traditional attorney, the process typically works like this:
- You hire an attorney.
- Your fiancé hires their own attorney.
- The wealthier party’s attorney drafts the prenup and sends it to the other side.
- Your fiancé’s attorney reviews it, negotiates changes, and the document bounces back and forth.
This process can take several months, and it often feels one-sided, with one party negotiating against an already drafted agreement.
With Hello Prenup, the process is collaborative from the start.
- One party signs up and invites their fiancé to participate.
- Each person individually answers a set of questions in a structured questionnaire—based on what they want, not what their partner or an attorney has predetermined.
- After answering, they go through a negotiation phase, where they work through any differences.
- At any point, either party can hire an attorney for full representation or a Q&A session if they need legal advice.
What makes this process so important is that it’s truly collaborative. It ensures that both partners actively participate in creating the agreement.
Instead of a power imbalance where the wealthier partner dictates the terms, Hello Prenup fosters a process where both individuals have equal input—leading to a prenup that is fair, transparent, and mutually beneficial.
It’s so important for both parties to be involved—especially if you’re not the wealthier partner.
Without this kind of process, you might not even realize you have options. Too often, I’ve seen situations where the wealthier partner’s attorney sends over a prenup, and the other person just assumes, ‘This is my only choice. I want to marry them, so I’ll just sign it.'
I’ve heard that story countless times, and it’s dangerous—because that kind of prenup does not represent your best interests. That’s exactly why Hello Prenup was created with a two-party system—so that both people actively participate and communicate throughout the process. It ensures that both partners are informed, engaged, and making decisions together, rather than one party simply accepting whatever is put in front of them.
Are there any trends in prenup agreements that reflect more modern relationships like clauses for intellectual property or social media guidelines you feel like that are now coming up that didn't exist before?
For sure. Social media clauses are incredibly popular, and pet clauses are even more common. But what I find most interesting is how couples choose to structure their prenups—specifically, how they define marital or community property versus separate property.
We have a lot of data on this, and the trends are really fascinating:
- 75% of couples choose to keep their premarital assets completely separate rather than defaulting to their state’s laws.
- 80% of couples opt to share a joint bank account with their future spouse, showing that while they do want some marital property, it’s done intentionally.
- 95% of couples keep premarital debt separate, meaning that nearly all couples want to ensure they aren’t responsible for their spouse’s debt.
These trends really highlight how modern couples are approaching marriage with more financial awareness and a strong intent to structure their finances on their own terms rather than simply following traditional legal defaults.
I think we value autonomy and independence, but we also deeply value our relationships and marital bonds. A prenup allows couples to define what that balance looks like for them in a way that feels intentional and personal.
It also creates space for important conversations—not just about legal protections, but about how you want to save, spend, and manage money together. It’s a chance to align on financial values and make sure both partners feel secure in the future they’re building.
