When I got married 11 years ago (we just celebrated our anniversary last week!), we knew we wanted a smaller affair. We deliberately chose a venue that maxed out our guest list at 110 guests. We planned a weekend getaway with wine tastings and picnic lunches in Virginia’s wine country and ended with our wedding and reception on Sunday. Guests still tell us it was one of their favorite weddings because they were able to get to know each other over an extended period of time.

Because of the coronavirus, many couples are re-thinking the need to have a large guest list for many reasons! They want to keep their guests’ health and safety a priority and limit the potential exposure.

Local regulations are also capping the size of social gatherings. (If you live in New York, the maximum number of guests at the time of this post, which is August 2020, is 50 guests + your wedding vendors.)

However, some couples are struggling with pivoting to a smaller guest count because they always envisioned a large party. If you're one of them, you might be wondering:

• What can you do for a small wedding?
• What is an intimate wedding?
• How do I make my intimate wedding special or memorable?
• Is an intimate wedding better?

In today’s blog post, I’m going to give you tips on planning an amazing intimate wedding!

What is an intimate wedding?

It wouldn't be an intimate wedding if the guest list was extensive! Prior to this year, intimate weddings were anywhere between 20-75 or 100 guests. But now they can be as small as just immediate family. Whether it's 6 people or 60 people, an intimate wedding is defined as a smaller, more exclusive wedding, but it's more about the atmosphere that you create, rather than a specific guest count. This shouldn't be confused with an elopement, as that's generally just the couple and their officiant and a few witnesses. 

Keep the Guest List Small

A lot of couples struggle with knowing who to invite and who to cut. Making a guest list can be hard! A popular rule of thumb is to think about who you’ve dined with in the past year or who you will be seeing in the next year. If you haven’t seen them or plan to, chances are you can avoid awkward conversations about who attended your intimate wedding.

To keep it really private, look through your text messages, and see who you talked to in the last six months. That’s how you know who your people are because they’re the ones you care about the most.

Want tips on how to transform your home for an intimate wedding? Check out this article that quotes me on the Redfin blog!

Choose an Unconventional Venue

Because of your smaller party, you’ll be able to explore options that wouldn’t have been able to fit a more traditional wedding reception. Your backyard is an obvious choice, but if you want to switch it up, rent a home via Air BnB and plan a weekend getaway with your nearest and dearest.

Properties like the Reed Homestead are often booked for the wedding party to get ready or to host the rehearsal dinner, but they would make a magical setting for an intimate gathering. For some venue inspiration, check this out!

Get Creative With Traditional Venues

The challenge with more traditional wedding venues is to make the space feel cozy with the number of guests attending. This is a great time to incorporate funky seating arrangements. Rectangular and square tables in a mosaic pattern can really add depth and texture to a seating arrangement.

On the flip side, you could seat everyone at winding serpentine tables that make their way through a garden. I also love creating cozy nooks with couches and chairs that allow guests to visit with each other if they’re not seated near each other. 

Looking for more tips on how to make a shorter guest list? Read my post 7 Steps to a Shorter Guest List!

Think Through Logistics

Any event, whether large or small, will need the basics: food, beverages, a bar, staff, decor, and some entertainment, so think through who will be providing these services. Some couples think hiring a food truck will be super easy, but forget that the food truck doesn’t come with staff to set up tables and chairs, serve the food, and bus the tables. When finding the best vendors for your intimate wedding, don’t forget about the logistics!

Focus on Your Priorities (and Skip the Rest)

Everyone’s priorities are different, so think through what’s most important and will be the most impactful for you. If you love live music, hire a trio, pianist, or violinist to provide the music. 

If you're not into dancing, think about another activity your group would enjoy or another form of entertainment like a live painter or singer. An intimate wedding allows you to really customize the experience, for you and your guests!

 

Splurge Intentionally

Now that your food and beverage costs are much smaller than if you were having 150 guests, think about the details that would make it extra special and personal to you and your partner.

This could mean custom engraved champagne bottles for each one of your guests or a decadent 6-course dinner with wine pairings and a cheese course.

You could also gift your table arrangements to all your guests at the end of the evening! (If you do this, make sure you pay for the vases and they are not a rental!) Whatever you do, make sure to focus on what gets you and your partner excited.

Remember Good Design 

Just because your party is small, it doesn’t mean it will be any less memorable! Smaller gatherings are a great way to incorporate details that wouldn’t have been possible with a larger group.

The table setting is a good place to start. You could incorporate wedding china from your parents. Or go super custom with handwritten menus and a killer place card or escort card display.

Table linens can be costly, but now that you have only a few tables, consider getting richer tablecloths like velvet or lace and hemstitch napkins that would have been cost-prohibitive with a larger party. 

No matter what you do, remember to allow guests to be able to speak with their dining partners. Towering centerpieces that block guests on the other side make conversation difficult. Guests also appreciate having cushioned seating and elbow room to dine comfortably. (And with social-distancing guidelines, you might want to seat closer to 6 guests per table instead of the standard 8-10 guests.)

Intimate Wedding Planning Tips

Planning an intimate wedding might mean fewer guests – but it doesn’t mean a less beautiful wedding. By having fewer guests, you can spend more time with those that mean the most to you. In addition, you can focus your budget on providing a better guest experience. Put the money you would have spent on more guests towards other details, like luxury linens, handcrafted paper products, and fun entertainment.

To make your intimate wedding planning even easier, get my Wedding Mood Board! Use this Mood Board to design a beautiful and cohesive wedding day, just like the wedding pros.

In case you scrolled to the bottom…

Intimate weddings are becoming more and more popular – due to Coronavirus downsizing regulations. However, some couples struggle with pivoting to a smaller affair, since they always envisioned a large party! But as couples focus on keeping their guests healthy and safe, they remember what's most important to them. There are quite a few ways to plan an intimate wedding that allows for an amazing guest, and couple, experience.

By choosing an unconventional venue, or getting creative with your current venue, you can find ways to customize the design. You can also focus on your priorities, and put more of your budget towards things you really want. And don’t forget the design! Just because your party is smaller, it doesn’t mean the design has to be any less memorable. You can splurge intentionally on gorgeous details or fun guest entertainment.

And don’t forget to grab my Wedding Mood Board – so you can design your gorgeous intimate wedding!

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