Welcome back loverves, If you're tuning in, there's a good chance you're getting ready to step up to the mic and deliver a wedding speech OR you’re wedding planning and a little weary of how the speeches are going to turn out at your wedding, so you’re listening today to see if you need to share this speech with that person. Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or even the proud parents of the couple, giving a wedding toast is a big moment, and I’m here to help you make it unforgettable—in the best way possible! Today, we're talking about the dos and don'ts of wedding speeches. I’ll be sharing my top tips on how to make your words heartfelt, memorable, and—most importantly—not cringe-worthy! So, if you want to avoid awkward pauses, blank stares, or stories that make the couple wish they had a mute button, you're in the right place. Let’s get into it!
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EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Mastering the Wedding Speech: Dos and Don'ts for a Memorable Toast
- Introduction to Wedding Speeches [00:00]
- The Importance of Preparation [02:58]
- Crafting a Personal Touch [05:49]
- Key Do's for Memorable Speeches [09:05]
- Essential Don'ts for Wedding Toasts [12:03]
AND IF YOU PREFER TO READ, HERE'S THE SUMMARY OF THE PODCAST EPISODE!
In my experience as a luxury wedding planner in the Finger Lakes and Upstate New York region, I’ve seen how a well-delivered speech or toast can make a wedding celebration truly special. A great toast is more than just words—it’s a chance to honor the couple, share meaningful stories, and create lasting memories for everyone in the room.
Also, here’s a pro tip:a really good wedding video needs really good audio and good speeches are a gold mine for videographers that want to help tell your story in your wedding film.
But back to what I was saying. When we talk about giving a wedding speech, it’s not just about standing up and saying a few nice things. It’s about creating a moment that feels personal, thoughtful, and sincere. Much like planning a luxury wedding, a speech should reflect quality over quantity. You don’t need to say a lot; you just need to say the right things. So today, we’ll go through the do’s and don’ts of giving a wedding speech that’ll leave a lasting impression and keep everyone smiling long after the toasts are done!
So without further ado, let’s move onto the do’s and dont’s for giving a wedding speech. Let's start with the do's!
Prepare
First, let’s talk about the number one thing you need to do when giving a wedding speech: prepare. I can’t stress this enough—preparation is so important! I know, it sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people think they can just wing it. The best speeches are the ones that are thoughtfully written and well-rehearsed.
Start by writing down your speech. This helps you organize your thoughts and makes sure you don’t forget any important moments or details you want to share. Once you have a draft, practice saying it out loud. It’s one thing to write a speech, but how it sounds when you say it can be completely different. Rehearsing in front of a friend is a great idea too. They can give you honest feedback—maybe they’ll catch a joke that falls flat or help you reword a sentence that doesn’t quite flow.
And remember, it’s okay to edit. You want your speech to feel natural, like it’s coming from the heart, not like you’re reading a script. When you’ve got it just right, send it over to your wedding planner. We will print out a clean, crisp copy and have it ready for you at your seat, so you’re not fumbling with your phone or a crumpled piece of paper.
Personal
The next thing you’ll want to do for your wedding speech is to make it personal. You were chosen to toast the couple for a reason—because you know them well and you’re part of their love story. Try talking about what makes them such great people, both individually and as a couple. Instead of giving compliments like, “they're so kind” or “they make a great couple,” share a story that really shows why you think they’re so special. Think about a moment that truly shows who they are, or a memory that captures their love and commitment to each other. Maybe it’s the time your friend went out of their way to help you when you needed it most, showing just how kind and selfless they are. Or a story about how they stood by their partner during a tough moment, proving what a great team they make. Those types of stories are what make your words hit home and feel genuine. They let everyone else in the room see the couple through your eyes.
Trust me, the more personal and authentic your speech is, the more it will hit home with the couple and all the guests.
Practice
Alright, let’s talk about the final tip for your wedding speech: practice. This one is so important! Make sure you actually practice saying your speech out loud and do your best to stick to the time limit. Remember, in this case, less really is more. No one ever said, “I wish that speech was longer!” A good rule of thumb is to aim for around 3-4 minutes. That’s usually plenty of time to talk about your relationship with the couple, share a few heartfelt words, and wrap it up nicely.
Practicing not only helps you get comfortable with what you’re going to say, but it also helps you pace yourself and keep things natural. Plus, it’ll make sure you don’t end up rambling or going off track when the nerves kick in. Keep it short, sweet, and straight from the heart, and you’ll have everyone hanging on to every word!
Keep it Concise
My last and final tip: Keep it concise. It doesn’t have to be 30 seconds, but I always tell my couples, no one ever said “I wish that speech was longer.”
The Gettysburg address was 272 words long. 272!! That’s about 2 minutes and it’s the most famous speech in history here in the U.S.
So keep that in mind when you’re writing.
Don’t Drink Too Much
Now that we’ve talked about the “do’s” of giving a wedding speech or toast, let’s move on to our first “don’t”: don’t drink too much. I get it—a little liquid courage can be tempting, and it’s totally fine to have a drink to calm your nerves. But no matter how anxious you feel, it’s best to keep it to one or two drinks at most before your speech. The last thing you want is to lose control or say something you’ll regret later. It’s not a good look, and it can quickly turn what could be a heartfelt speech into something sloppy or even disrespectful.
You don’t want to be remembered as the person who rambled or got off track because of too much champagne. Keep it classy and stay in control, so your words shine through for all the right reasons. Trust me, a clear head makes all the difference when you're standing up there in front of everyone!
Don’t Make It R-Rated
The next “don’t” on our list is to keep it clean. You definitely don’t want it to feel R-rated. Avoid using any strong language, inappropriate jokes, or any bathroom humor. A good rule of thumb is this: if you wouldn’t say it in front of your best friend’s grandma, it probably doesn’t belong in your speech. Weddings are all about celebrating love, and there’s a wide range of guests in the room, from kids to grandparents.
So, keep the jokes classy and stick to PG-13. It’s totally possible to be funny and heartfelt without crossing a line. The goal is to make everyone smile, not cringe, so save the wild stories for the after-party!
Don’t Make It About You
OK, and this next “don’t” is a big one: don’t make the speech about you. It might be tempting to share your own stories or make the moment more personal, but remember, this is a toast to the couple, so keep the focus on them. It’s totally fine to talk about how you met them or a moment that really stood out to you, but always bring it back to the couple. Talk about what makes them special and why their relationship is worth celebrating.
Try to avoid going off on tangents with random stories that don’t have a clear connection to the couple, or using inside jokes that only a few people in the room will understand. While those moments might be funny to a select few, they can make other guests feel left out. And the last thing you want is to take the spotlight away from the couple on their big day.
Keep in mind, it’s your job is to make everyone feel included and bring the room together in celebrating their love. Save those private, silly stories for when it’s just you and your close friends.
Don’t Read Off Your Phone
Alright, we’ve made it to the last tip: don’t read your speech off your phone. I get it, we’re all attached to our devices, but trust me, this isn’t the moment to be glued to your screen. Not only does it look like you didn’t put in the effort to prepare, but the text on your phone is usually too small to read comfortably. You’ll end up squinting or scrolling to find your place, which can lead to awkward pauses or, worse, losing your train of thought altogether.
Plus, holding your phone can come off as a bit impersonal, like you’re just reading a list instead of sharing something from the heart. If you really want to make an impact, go old-school and use a printed copy or even some simple note cards. They’re easier to handle, and you won’t have to worry about your screen locking, notifications popping up, or any tech glitches throwing you off.
Conclusion
And there you have it, loverves! Those are my top do's and don'ts for giving a wedding speech that’s heartfelt, memorable, and true to the couple. Remember, the goal is to speak from the heart, keep it personal, and most importantly, make it all about the newlyweds. A little preparation, some practice, and keeping the focus on the love story will make your toast one that the couple and their guests will remember for years to come.
So, whether you’re the best friend, sibling, or anyone lucky enough to grab that mic, I know you’re going to crush it! Just keep it genuine, stay present in the moment, and have fun with it. After all, you’re there to celebrate love, and there’s no wrong way to do that when it’s coming from the heart!
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